Bullying may emotionally hurt people, however bullying does not have the power to determine people’s identity, self-love and mental health. This is a critical mental health distinction.

People who use external criteria (Outside-In) for determining their identity, self-love and mental health become and remain emotionally dependent because they have built their emotional lives on their external criteria, and thus their identity and self-love is determined by their conditioning and /or environmental conditions, including bullying behaviour. As a result, these people have low self-esteem, are driven by their “feelings”, as their emotional scripts arise out of deep emotional vulnerabilities and deep emotional dependencies on their external criteria, for their need for self-love, for their sense of belonging, for a sense of identity and self-worth.

Depending upon the severity of people’s emotional dependency to their external criteria/s, for their identity and self-love, their Beliefs can potentially lead to Anxiety and/or Affective (Emotional) Disorders and Behavioural Dependencies/Addictions, including Suicide.  When people determine their identity and self-Love on external criteria, they become reinforced by the paradigm, often feeling victimised and out of control emotionally. Often blaming the outside forces, including other people’s bullying behaviour for their current emotional and life situation.

Conversely, people who are emotionally independent and experience a life of self-reliance and emotional well-being use universal principles as intrinsic criteria (Inside-Out) for determining their identity, self-love and mental health. These principles include, but not limited to Honesty, Courage, Service, Compassion, Loyalty, Contribution, Sincerity, Equality, Freedom, Fairness, Respect, Commitment, Humility and Integrity.

People who use intrinsic criteria for developing and retaining their identity and self-love, automatically transcend their emotional conditioning and/or environmental conditions including other people’s bullying behaviour and remain emotionally independent because their identity, self–love and mental health is a product of conscious choice based on correct, clearly selected and internalised principles.

In summary, understanding that bullying behaviours unquestionably influences people, and at times very powerfully, but these behaviours, like all external criteria do not have the power to determine a person’s true self- value, their true self-love or their emotional wellbeing and happiness.

Grant McGregor
Author
My Identity My Life
www.myidentitymylife.com