Living a Life of Chaos with the Addict You Love? Transformation and Healing Are Possible

In my experience, one of the hardest things about loving an addict is isolation.

With it comes the feeling that you can’t get the help you truly need, even when you try to reach out. You think that no one else understands, and you feel shame and guilt for allowing the situation to get so bad.

In my private practice, many new clients I see have been living a life of struggle for years because their guilt and shame have prevented them for reaching out for help. After exhausting other avenues they thought would help, they remain stuck in isolation and codependence—sometimes for years.

These difficult feelings prevent many loved ones from ever getting the support they need. Maybe you can relate?

And yet, without support, it's nearly impossible for things to change.

Support is crucial to get yourself off the roller coaster of chaos that you’ve been riding with your addicted loved one.

If the situation with the addict you love has basically remained the same for months, or even years, you’ll need to understand how—and why—you may have unwittingly contributed to the addiction continuing.

In order for your situation to improve, you need to understand what you can do that will actually help, because this journey to recovery and family healing begins with you.

If you’re ready to change what’s been going on in your life, reach out for help to learn:

  • How to set appropriate boundaries with your addicted loved one, and saying “No” when you mean “No.”
  • How to express your anger and other emotions, safely.
  • How to let go of control and perfectionism so you create more ease and enjoyment in your life.
  • How to establish and practice healthy, holistic self-care.
  • How to make yourself a priority in your own life, without feeling selfish or guilty.

As I said, unless you reach out for help, it’s unlikely that your situation will improve—in fact, it’s likely to get much worse. Ask yourself, what will your life be like in 2 or 5 years if you don’t get the help you need?

Transformation and healing are possible.

Schedule a free 60-minute telephone consultation with me to find out more about my Family Addiction Therapy Program by following the link above and completing the form you will find there. Once I receive your completed questionnaire and ascertain that we could be a fit to work together, I will be in touch with you to set up an appropriate time for us to talk.

This article was kindly provided by Candace Plattor, Registered Clinical Counsellor and Addiction Therapist at

About Candace

Candace Plattor, M.A., R.C.C., is an Addictions Therapist in private practice. Candace specialises in working with the family and other loved ones of people who are struggling with addiction, in her unique and signature Family Addiction Therapy Program.

Candace believes that everyone in the family is affected by addiction and everyone needs to heal. For more than 25 years, she has been helping both addicts and their loved ones understand their dysfunctional behaviours and make healthier life choices.

You can visit her website and sign up to receive Chapter 1 of her book, Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself: The Top 10 Survival Tips for Loving Someone with an Addiction, and “Like” her Facebook page.

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